Gonna lay it out for ya right here. Just gonna throw it out there as a note of interest and let it be.

Sebastian is driving us crazy. Were he not 2, I would say he’s gone completely batshit crazy and is ready for the insane asylum. Luckily for him, he IS 2, and therefore allowed to be a totally off-the-chain insane-in-the-membrane ass hat. And so he is.

I am the King of Patience. Jen is the Queen of Patience. We tag team him with the Patience and we try and break his spirit with the Understanding. He is mighty though. He is smart, and he knows how to work a situation.

Bedtime consists of crying, squeeling, snotting, and the saddest, biggest bottom lip you’ve ever seen on a baby boy. He is inconsolable, and conversations (through crying, snot, and tears) usually go like this:

Me: Oh, Buddy, let me get you a Kleenex.

Him: NO! I don’t WANT a Kleenex! (I get one anyway and put it beside the bed)

Me: Ok, Little Man, I’ll just put it here in case you need it.

Him: NNNOOO! You don’t do that! (wailing increases)

Me: Ok, I won’t do that.

Him: Nooo!!! You don’t do that! (now talking about ‘not’ doing it)

Me: Do you want to blow your nose?

Him: NNOOOoo!!!!!

Me: Okay.

Him: Nooo.

Me: You want me to blow your nose now?

Him: Yeah.

Me: Ok.

That conversation takes about 3 minutes and is ear-piercing loud on his end. I talk so soft that he has to be quiet to hear me. The typical bedtime routine is about 25 minutes of that.

Yes, this is TOTALLY a phase. It’s just one that I’m not too fond of.

One other note. Zoey is freaking amazing. The worse Bass gets, the more sympathetic, understanding, and helpful she is. It’s really quite remarkable, and only further goes to prove what an amazingly smart, compassionate and wonderful girl she is becoming.

I’ve really enjoyed our playfulness this week. A major project at work ended on Monday and with it went the huge knot in my stomach. It’s so much easier to be happy and playful, and creative when you’re not thinking about code and encryption and deadlines. I’ve loved our puppet shows, playing “horses”, and how we’ve really made each other laugh this week. Now if we could just get Captain Crazy to accept his bedtime as part of life, we’d be golden.

I don’t do many meme’s, but when Shan asks for something, it shall be done.

One word answer quiz.

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Your significant other? out
3. Your hair? dark
4. Your mother? here
5. Your father? watching
6. Your favorite thing? laughter
7. Your dream last night? trains
8 Your favorite drink? milkshake
9. Your dream/goal? freedom
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your hobby? hockey
12. Your fear? fear
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? vacationing
14. What you’re not? young
15. Muffins? sometimes
16. One of your wish list items? driver
17. Where you grew up? Missouri
18. The last thing you did? email
19. What are you wearing? kahkis
20. Favorite gadget? camera
21. Your pets? loving
22. Your computer? lifeline
23. Your mood? good
24. Missing someone? sister
25. Your car? aging
26. Something you’re not wearing? sneakers
27. Favorite store? music
28. Like someone? yes
29. Your favorite color? black
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? weekend

It dawned on me as the we awaited the bride’s arrival, that I hadn’t seen her in a few months. Geez, maybe even 6. I suppose that’s the way of adulthood, but I do miss seeing her daily.

~~~

Kathy and I worked together for 5 years, right out of college. We went to the same college and had a class or two together, but hadn’t really met until our first day of work. Not just our first day of work, but the first day of our careers. I think that holds significance, you know, because there’s a transition period from college to the work world that changes a person dramatically. We do a lot of growing up in those first few years.

Her hair was bleached blond, skin was super tan, and she had a quality about her that said, “tired in the morning because she likes to party”. I introduced myself, and we spent the next 8 weeks in training together with several other newbies trying to figure it all out. I found out that her looks were deceiving, and that hair bleach doesn’t hurt smart people’s brains. Instead of just being co-workers, we filled up those years with friendship. We became really close. Jen and she became great friends. We hung out before in between boyfriends and with boyfriends. We saw her go through up times and down times, hilarious moments, and sad ones, and a few coming-of-age significant events. We met her family, she met ours. We trained for marathons together, and supported each other along the way.

Time did change things, and our company laid-off Kathy (and thousands of others). It was harder to stay in touch, but we still did. We got together just for fun, and we emailed a lot. Still, it was a loss to not have her around as much. She changed, in all good ways, and her life focus moved to a man, a career change, and eventually a wonderful proposal.

~~~

The bride appeared behind us, and at first glance I had to look away. It hit me like a ton of bricks and my head spun. Holy Mary, mother of 8-pound 9oz Baby Jesus! Kathy is getting married, and she has never been more amazing than she is on this day. I snuck a look at Jen and her eyes were welled up. Great. Can’t look at HER. In that 15 second moment, I had one of those moments of devine clarity. I was trying to figure out why this felt so amazingly rewarding to me. Why was I so nervous? My whole body was a rush of excitement. My heart raced, and a deep breath later, I turned to find her being escorted down the aisle.

It dawned on me in that moment that Kathy is as much a sister to me as Angela. But, unlike Angela, Kathy and I have spent the past 9 years in close proximity, talking out each and every daily event that affected us. I was married, had a house, plans for kids, and knew exactly what my future held. She was on the cusp of figuring all of that out and had a million questions. In some way, shape, or form, I had an impact on her life. She grew up in front of my eyes and the culmination of the past 9 years led to this peak moment.

I was proud. Proud that she used all of her experiences to become an independent adult first, and wife second. Proud that she found someone who loves EVERYthing about her, because she is unique in her own way and only a man who loves that deserves to be her husband.

As they stood and recited their vows in the cool breeze and perfect evening sunlight, I thought about the girl that I met just out of college. She was a girl with a straight ‘A’ grade card and no clue how to mow a yard. The girl I was watching be married was an experienced and successful business woman who is living in her second house with her new husband. It was overwhelming.

The reception was excellent, with a top notch dinner, bar, cake, dancing, and great friends. The wedding party consisted of people I know well and like very much, which is key to any party. I was worried that I wouldn’t get to talk to Kathy at all but she didn’t let that happen. We all chatted and snapped some pictures together. I did get to have a short dance with her, and more importantly got a good hug that expressed how happy she was, and happy that I was there.

I wanted to say more to Matt, but will have to wait until we have them over soon for a post-wedding dinner to talk about it all. Much like when my own sister was married, I don’t think I could have picked out a better man for her. It means the world to me, knowing that my girls are taken care of. I sleep better at night because of guys like my brother-in-law and Matt.

Congratulations, Kathy and Matt. You two deserve this.

Tonight, we celebrated my mom’s birthday. With Jen’s parents, mine, and the kids, we enjoyed dinner at a local restaurant and headed back to our house for dessert. Jen made a home-made ice cream cake that was delicious, and Mom enjoyed her gifts. The kids were wonderful at the restaurant, but they must have been saving up energy because they were extremely loud and rambunctious at home. Luckily, they were outnumbered.

Mom had a good time and the kids loved celebrating Gran. Happy Birthday, Mom!

Also of significance is my sister and brother-in-law’s wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary you two! Here’s the original date.

A lot of people want to know how they can reduce their imprint on the environment. How can we become more “at one” with the Earth so that we don’t destroy it? Chris posted about it today including a link to CarbonCounter.org and it got me thinking. How can I reduce my negative affect on the planet?

Buy less shit. My college geology professor, Dr. Nold (possibly my favorite professor ever), told me something profound one day. He said, “The guy driving a 1972 pickup truck blowing smoke and throwing a beer can out the window every two miles does less damage to the environment than most Americans, because he built one house to live in, bought one truck to drive forever, and doesn’t require any more resources than that.”

I was reminded of that in a recent Wired magazine cover that essentially said the same thing. Buying a new hybrid vehicle just takes more resources from the world, and you’ve increased the imprint on the environment instead of keeping it steady.

You have to break down the materials it takes to make all of the stuff we buy. My truck has plastics, different metals, rubber, various liquids, electronics, computer chips, cloth, etc. What about a house? Everything that goes into harvesting wood, steel, glass, insulation, pipes/tubing, concrete, composite shingles, venting, major appliances, etc. It’s an amazing amount of stuff, and an amazing amount of carbon to create all of that stuff. You can’t even move the dirt around to make space for a foundation without spending hundreds of dollars on fuel and emitting pounds of gaseous carbon into the air with dozers.

Anyway, hearing Dr. Nold explain things to me that way 10 years ago really had an impact on my thinking. It’s made me feel good about driving my 8 year old truck and being conservative with my thermostat. I like taking my re-usable bags into the grocery store and I don’t find recycling to be a hassle. We’ve planted three trees in our yard and our flower garden is the best it’s ever been. Could we do more? Of course. But if each generation improves on the last, then I think our kids have a real shot at breaking even with the Earth.

I don’t like a stale site, but man, realizing that it takes 5 minutes to update this place means that I haven’t had 5 minutes to scrape together in a week.

But I do right now, because people are eating lunch.

This past weekend was the colossal weekend of all weekends. Jen was gone Friday - Sunday to the lake with her girlfriends and I ran a garage sale while preventing sunburns and lost children. We sold a good amount of stuff, gave away a bunch more, and re-evaluated our basement collection.

The kids made out like bandits with new/old toys, and a new Firetruck toddler bed for Sebastian. He’s made the leap from crib to bed like a champ, and in grand style too. Bass also got his first bicycle and has ridden it no less than 3 solid hours each day since.

Jen came home on Sunday in time for me to jet off to hockey and get my fix. I had a great time with a new stick, scored several goals and loved getting back to it after a 3 week hiatus.

Throughout the weekend, however, there was work. Work Friday night, Saturday day, Saturday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night. It’s Monday now and my 5 minutes are up. Something’s on fire again. Off I go to fix it.

I’m thinking a couple of middle-of-the-week golf days will be in order in July.

It’s the first browser to ever really make a difference in speed that I can notice on every page. Awesome.

Father’s Day weekend was great. On Saturday I got to play 18 holes of golf with Chris, which we’ve been aching to do all season. Sunday I did fatherly stuff.

I know people say you’re supposed to pamper the dad or mom or whomever’s “day” it is, but with two little kids it’s just best to find some things that are fun for everyone. So, Sunday we headed to the grocery store for a pancake breakfast (their little diner is great for breakfast) and grocery shopping. When we got home I mowed the yard (with Sebastian’s help of course) and Jen planted some flowers with the kids. When that was done I cleaned the garage, killed some wasps and wasp nests, and secured the garage shelves to the wall (they’re so solid they’ll never tip, but it was requested and therefore done). The rest of the day involved watching Tiger and Rocco play better golf than me, and messing with the kiddos.

For dinner we had over our parents. Gran, Dick, Grandma Lou, and Poppa, they are called at our house now. We had a great dinner of grilled chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, pasta salad, and homemade ice cream with strawberries and cake for dessert. No calorie was left uneaten. The gifts were wonderful, and I loved the hand-crafted pictures from the kids.

All the years as I grew up, Father’s day was not clearly defined for me. My dad died when I was a baby and every year when it came around I was torn between spending it with Dick, who has been the only dad I’ve known, and trying to hurry past the day as if it didn’t exist. Dick has two girls of his own and he and my mom never married so it kind of complicated things. There were a lot of appreciative words never spoken over those years.

When I became a father myself, the day changed. I knew exactly what to do on Father’s Day. Be a father and include everyone in that. It was a way for me to include Dick too, without any “hey you’re my dad but you’re not” awkwardness to the day. Now he was a part of the family in a different way because he was celebrating me as a father as well.

This year, especially this year, I think things might have turned for the better once again. In my 32 years, Dick and Jen’s dad have been my father figures for more years than they have not. We celebrate them openly and without reservation. As we sat around my comfortable living room Sunday, there were three very proud dads with little kids running between each of them using dads and grandpas as they were meant; as jungle gyms. Three generations of happy people all in one room, enjoying the day as it should be.

Dads have a profound impact on their kids, and although I’ve not lived under a roof with him, Dick made a profound impact on me. Some of the things I take the most pride in are a result of his influence of hard work and common sense. Dick taught me how to pull and back a trailer, tie an amazing knot, mow a yard properly, fish, drive a boat, maintain equipment, sharpen on a grinder, use less resources, keep a tidy place, drive a truck, eat good food, golf, goof off, and talk to strangers with a smile and a joke. He has been nothing but caring and generous to me, and I’m ever thankful for it.

Maybe this year’s get-together looked like some of the others, but it felt different and I like that. I look forward to all of us dads getting together every year for a long time and sharing, more than ever, how much we have learned from each other and enjoyed being in each other’s lives.

This was my best weekend this summer, and I thank all of you who had a part in that.

“I know that you have experience in mainframes, and I know that you were hired to work on mainframes, but we don’t have any mainframes. So…”

I wanted to get on the phone and say “dude, start saying ‘yes’ a lot because they’re about to offer you an opportunity to stay employed and it might be your last”.

Tallahassee? Conquered.

To those of you in Tallahassee, this may seem like a minor feat, but I’m here to tell you that we do it up right. If there is entertainment for a 2 and 4 year old in the capitol of Florida, we’ve done it, and done it well.

Wednesday we hopped two flights via Atlanta and landed in enough time to grab a bite to eat and jump in the pool. Sebastian and Zoey were wonderful during all of the travel, and we were pleasantly surprised at the lack of stress in our day. We visited with Ang and Chris, swam and just enjoyed the day. Sebastian’s lack of a nap led to a pretty bad nighttime experience but we worked through it just as we have at home.

The next day we headed to Wakulla Springs park, where a natural spring pumps crystal clear water out of the ground at an amazing rate. It creates a natural river with lots of Florida wildlife. We took a boat tour and saw alligators, many types of birds, turtles, and snakes. We did the same tour a few years ago before Sebastian was even 1. Afterwards, we swam in the COLD water, jumped off a 15 foot platform (Jen and I), and I jumped off a dock with the kids. It was fun, and led to good naps and a relaxed evening.

Friday we found our way to the Fun Station arcade and acted like kids for a while. I introduced Zoey to air hockey (and we let Jen and Gran join in) and Sebastian loved the motorcycle and car games. They were too young for go-carts but some time I’d like to take them for a ride. We played enough skee-ball to get some tickets and buy trinkets as rewards for our hard play.

Saturday we checked out the local farmer’s market, which supplied us with some veggies and cookies and a couple of singing hippies who were very comfortable with their knowledge of Jimmy Buffet. Afterwards we headed to a public pool/water park that was geared towards kids. It had fountains, slides, and shallow water everywhere for the kids. Zoey went down her first big water slide alone, and Sebastian went down the little slide no less than 50 times.

Sunday was a chill-out day and we decided to visit a local park/nature reserve. The MacClay Gardens was donated by a rich, Scottish New Yorker, and is a cool slice of land. It boasts wonderful flowers and trees, and delivered. We saw no less than 100 frogs along our trail walk, and snapped some cute pictures too.

Monday we said our goodbyes before the sun came up, and by lunchtime we were eating in our own kitchen. Once again, the kids were great and the travel was almost stress free.

Jen and I ran in the mornings together, the kids swam every day at the house or elsewhere. After kid hours, we assembled a 1000-piece puzzle, we played Yahtzee, and other games, and watched movies. There was a lot of food, good conversations, wine drinking, and reconnecting. It was a great family trip.

Sadly, this will be our last trip to their house in Tallahassee. Things are changing for Chris and Ang, the first being that they are selling their house to reduce costs and become more financially secure. I’m proud of them for doing it, and I hope it goes well. I want them to get a real handle on the debt, because the price of having two people with Dr. in front of their names is greater than you can imagine. The stress of it is too.

The biggest change, however, is that Chris interviewed for a job in Sydney, Australia a couple of weeks ago. They really like him and he will not be surprised if he gets an offer. We talked about how it could show his current university his value, and agreed that it might help things. Still, I know the truth. If he gets the offer, they are moving to Australia. It’s what they want, and they are very adventurous so it fits. I can’t say what that will mean for our contact with them but I know that it costs $10,000 to fly 5 people to Sydney, and that won’t happen. I suspect we’ll find a way, we always have.

This was a family trip, so not altogether relaxing, but I came back to work relaxed and feeling chipper so I know it was good time away. I miss my shadow (Bastian) and my sweet girl already. After 1 day back at work I’m already looking forward to the weekend.